SEX TIPS: How to become more comfortable naked during sex

Sara and John have been married for five years and are deeply in love. However, whenever they have sexual activity they always end up arguing. If John touches Sara’s waist, she pushes his hand away and tells him not to touch her fat. Sara prefers to keep her shirt on, even if the lights are off, and she always tells John to keep his eyes closed.  John constantly tells Sara she is beautiful and how much he is attracted to her, but it never seems to help the situation and alleviate her anxiety.  

Today, it’s hard to feel beautiful, and for many women feeling beautiful and feeling sexy go hand-in-hand. The culture we live in makes it difficult for women to feel adequate physically, as everywhere you look—the movies, magazines, billboards- there are images of women that are unrealistic to attain. In many cases the images are photoshopped to make the woman’s body look even more ‘perfected’ than it does in reality, but the knowledge that it’s photoshopped doesn’t curtail its dramatic impact.  Consequently, many women walk around with a negative body image and feel like they aren’t perfect enough to be beautiful and for many, this translates into insecurity in the bedroom.
What Does Body Image Have To Do With Sex? healthy relationship with a man who finds her attractive; yet, she sees herself as not good enough because her stomach seems too flabby to her. Or she doesn’t like her nose. Or thinks her hips are too big.  In other words, her belief of ‘my body isn’t good enough’ becomes ‘I am not good enough’; it’s almost as if nothing else about her matters.
A healthy body image is one where you have a sense of acceptance with your body, you don’t measure your self-worth based on your body, and most of all, and you can feel comfortable in your own skin.  When a woman looks at her body and only sees flaws, she may not only feel bad about her physical identity, but about the kind of happiness she deserves in life, e.g. whether she is worthy of being loved by a partner.
A strong component of sexual satisfaction is being comfortable in one’s skin. If a woman is convinced that she is unattractive, it will be difficult for her to present and she will not be able to fully enjoy the sexual experience. Moreover, she may feel inhibited in having sexual needs. She may think to herself, ‘How can I seek or experience pleasure when I look like this?’  She may be passive and focus on her partner’s pleasure instead of her own, and she may be hesitant to initiate sexual activity.
As seen in the above case of Sara and John, Sara was unwilling to be fully naked with John and it clearly was affecting their sexual dynamics. Sara evidently viewed her body with disgust, and her unwillingness to be relaxed with John is a manifestation of her conviction that he would be disgusted too.  Obviously that thought is divorced from reality, as John always told her how much he was into her, but that wasn’t enough to challenge her deep-seeded feelings of inadequacy.
What Can I Do To Improve My Body Image?
If you find it hard to drop your conditions for considering yourself beautiful and sexy, try to pretend for a moment that you’ve already met those conditions and you are perfect exactly the way you are. Bask in that confidence and the permission to feel comfortable with your body just the way it is. Does it feel wrong? Unjustified? Arrogant?
See what comes up for you. For some women, doing this exercise allows them to identify messages about their body that they received from family members, relationship partners, or society in general. It can help clarify personal core beliefs about what is beautiful, sexy, and who decides. And most importantly, it is a powerful reminder that negative body beliefs can shift when you are willing to challenge your mind-set and the mirror.
Try this exercise:  Stand in front of the mirror (or if you’re not comfortable with that, sit in a comfortable position). Pick a body part you don’t like and try to think for a few moments about positive things about that body part. For example; if you don’t like your butt, concentrate on thinking about positive things your butt does for you, such as providing a cushion to sit.  Focus on that feeling of gratitude and remind yourself that you are more than just your body.
Developing a healthy body image is no easy feat, but if you can practice gentleness with yourself and surround yourself with positive messages, you will become more comfortable in your own skin.

Plight of Abuja Medical Students

ABUJA has become used to medical students of the University of Abuja flooding the highways leading into the city, to protest the continued insensitivity of the university authorities to their plight. Many of the students after eight years in the institution have not advanced beyond the 300 level though ordinarily it takes six years to graduate as medical doctors.
Their main problem is that the institution’s medical courses were not accredited and have not in eight years. The university authorities have failed to arrange for the transfer of the students to other universities. It is doubtful if any university would accept students with suspect transfer details. The students are seeking compensation of N10 million each for their wasted years. They are taking their case to the street; they have no money to hire lawyers.
If you are looking for an example of the insensitivity that runs through governments, the students’ case presents one. The protests are routine. They hold in the seat of federal power, yet nobody from the Federal Ministry of Education, the National Assembly or the Presidency deems it a responsibility to resolve the plight of the students whose only offence is that they were admitted to a programme that the university advertised, when it had no accreditation for it.
Young people are being forced to waste their useful years, trapped in an institution that had no reason to admit students to study medicine in the first place, not being accredited for the course. Those who committed this crime have moved on unpunished, the present university authorities look away, and so does the Federal Ministry of Education, which owns the university, and the National Universities Commission which approved the unaccredited courses.
The Federal Government should without hesitation punish everyone involved in bringing the students to this horrible state. They should be compensated, in addition to helping them conclude their studies. It is a shame that with all the plaudits civil society groups award themselves; they have not taken up this matter. Where is justice for injured and underprivileged Nigerians like these? If they had the means they would not be in this situation.
There are more schools admitting students when they are not properly equipped to handle certain courses and do not have the appropriate accreditations. Why does the NUC ignore these malpractices or are its officials beneficiaries of the scam? What is the inertia over this glaring injustice?
What is going on at the University of Abuja is a disgrace to regulators of university education. Their indifference is culpable. Let the plight of the medical students be addressed once and for all – this cannot be done without punishing their tormentors.

PDP crisis worsens

*North-West PDP faults Wamakko’s suspension
*Says no automatic ticket for Jonathan in 2015
*We’ve been betrayed, says Sokoto State party members
ABUJA—CRACKS on the walls of the ruling Peoples Democratic Party, PDP, yesterday, widened with the North-West chapter of the party differing with the National Leadership over the decision of the National Working Committee, NWC, to suspend Governor of Sokoto State, Alhaji Aliyu Wamakko.
The North-West, which has seven states – Kano, Kaduna, Katsina, Sokoto, Zamfara, Kebbi and Jigawa, is a strong PDP bloc.
While the North-West chapter said Wamakko’s suspension was hasty and done without consultation, the National leadership countered that wide and exhaustive consultations were carried out.
The North-West zone also faulted comments of the Chairman of the Board of Trustees (BoT), Chief Anthony Anenih that the president and first term governors of the party should get automatic return tickets.    This is coming amid strong indications that the PDP National Leadership is poised to suspend more governors and erring members from its fold if they fail to abide with the constitution of the party.
So far, PDP has suspended two governors elected on its platform – Rotimi Amaechi (Rivers) and Wamakko. And against the backdrop of misgivings arising from the recent Nigeria Governors’ Forum (NGF) election, which Amaechi won contrary to expectation of the PDP hierarchy that favoured Governor David Jang of Plateau State, who earlier cornered the endorsement of the 19 governors of the North, more heads may roll in the party ahead of the 2015 polls.
Wamakko’s suspension hasty – Kazaure
Dismissing Wamakko’s suspension as “unfortunate” and “hasty”, the Chairman of the PDP, North West Zone, Ambassador Ibrahim Kazaure, told newsmen in Kaduna shortly before the meeting of the Northern States Governors’ Forum (NSGF) that wide consultations should have been done.
His words: “The suspension is unfortunate, very unfortunate. We should have done a wide consultation because we have enemies within. The PDP is a party not a social club. It has its constitution. I am not saying they (PDP NWC members)  are wrong; I am not saying what they have done is wrong; but all I am saying is there should have been a wide consultation before the action was taken. For a governor of a state where we have 100 per cent PDP supporters from the ward up to national levels, this is sad.

FILE: SENATE PRESIDENT DAVID MARK; PRESIDENT GOODLUCK JONATHAN AND THE PDP NATIONAL CHAIRMAN, ALHAJI BAMANGA TUKUR AT THE PDP FAMILY DINNER IN ABUJA ON THURSDAY

“I don’t think his suspension will affect the PDP, but it will affect the candidature of the PDP in the future. PDP gets stronger day-by-day. But the unfortunate thing is that when you train a lion and it begins to eat this person and that person, by the time everybody is finished then what will happen next?
….No automatic ticket for Jonathan in 2015
Kazaure also asked those canvassing automatic ticket for the president and first time governors to have a rethink because the constitution of the PDP does not give room for avoiding primary elections, insisting that at the appropriate time, the PDP constitution would decide. This is in contradiction to the position of the Chairman, Board of Trustees of the PDP, Chief Tony Anenih, who recently said that the President and all Governors of the PDP seeking re-election were to be given automatic tickets to contest.
Said Kazaure: “Religious sentiment is out of my dictionary. God has already ordained who will be the next president. All these things we are doing it is only God that knows who will be the next president. Not you, not me not even anybody in Nigeria knows that.
“The South-South that is talking should understand that it was somebody that died and somebody took over.  Do you know what will happen tomorrow? You don’t know. Only God knows what will happen tomorrow. Even if I said you will be the king of your town tomorrow it is not possible, because we don’t decide the future of this country. Whatever God decides is what will happen.”
We’ve been betrayed – Sokoto PDP
Responding to the issues, the Sokoto State chapter of the PDP described as betrayal, the suspension of Governor Wamakko, stating that the national secretariat violated section 21 of the PDP constitution.
A statement by the Commissioner for Agriculture, Alhaji Arzika Tureta, said: “We the PDP supporters in Sokoto felt betrayed by the decision taken at the National level to suspend the leader of the party without recourse to procedure, justice and equity as enshrined in Article 21 of the PDP constitution.”
Positing that the Governor had always been loyal and committed to the party by achieving 100 per cent success in all elections in the state, the party advised the national secretariat to guard against rumour mongering. “The PDP at the national level is hereby advised to guard against rumour mongering, hear-say and unsubstantiated allegations by Abuja-based Sokoto politicians who are bent on destroying the party at all levels.”
Wamakko was lured into the PDP during the 2007 election when the party’s candidate, now deputy governor, was dropped in preference for him.
All elected officers must respect the party  or… —PDP
Meanwhile, the National Leadership of the PDP has asked all officers on its platform to shape up or face sanctions because the party was greater and bigger than any member irrespective of position.
The warning was conveyed through a statement by PDP National Publicity Secretary, Chief Olisa Metuh. “We wish to state that the leadership of the Party has immense respect for all elected and appointed political office holders and in the same vein expects all political office holders to reciprocate by respecting the constitution and lawful organs of the Party upon which platform they hold office.”
Why we suspended Wamakko – Metuh
Explaining why the party suspended Wamakko, the PDP national scribe noted that the governor shunned the National Chairman, Alhaji Bamanga Tukur and the National Working Committee, NWC when he was invited to answer to some questions.
“The decision to suspend Wamakko came after very wide and exhaustive consultations, in accordance with the provisions of the constitution of the PDP and in the overriding interest of the party.“It is important to note that the reason for the suspension of Governor  Wamakko predates the Nigeria Governors’ Forum’s election. Sometime in early April, the leadership of the party was concerned with the statements and conduct of the Governor whereupon the National Chairman placed several calls to draw the attention of the Governor to the matters concerned.”

One dead as bandits attack football team

ABIDJAN (AFP) – One player was killed and 23 people seriously injured after a coach carrying second division football team ES Bafing was attacked by armed bandits, Ivory Coast press reported Thursday.
The attack happened during the night from Tuesday to Wednesday on the road from Duekoue to Bangolo in the west of the country.
The coach was returning from the capital Abidjan after a league match when it was sprayed with bullets as it tried to get away from thieves who had already robbed passengers from another coach.
The west is the most unstable part of a country and rife with insecurity and inter-ethnic tensions.
The situation was aggravated by a political crisis between December 2010 and April 2011 following disputed presidential elections.
Clashes in the region resulted in around 1,000 deaths according to a United Nations report.

Serena, Sharapova out for French Open final

PARIS – The top two seeds — Serena Williams and Maria Sharapova — will contest Saturday’s French Open final, but they took starkly contrasting routes to get there from Thursday’s semi-finals.
Top seed Williams bulldozed her way past an outclassed Sara Errani of Italy 6-0, 6-1 in just 46 minutes. Defending champion Sharapova survived a second-set slump and a glut of double faults to ease past Victoria Azarenka 6-1, 2-6, 6-4.
It will be the first time since 1995, when Steffi Graf defeated top seed Arantxa Sanchez-Vicario, that the two top seeds have contested the women’s final at Roland Garros.
The two have met 15 times with Williams ahead 13-2 and Sharapova has not won since she defeated the American as a 17-year-old newcomer at the season-ending WTA Championship in 2004.
The way Williams demolished the lightweight Errani, who gave Sharapova some problems in last year’s final, will mean that she will start a strong favouriite to bag her 16th Grand Slam title.
Williams, at 1.75m and 70kg, was just too powerful for Errani, whose slight stature of 1.64m and 60kg, was never going to intimidate the American.
The 31-year-old American blasted 40 winners to Errani’s two while the Italian won just five points on the American’s serve.
It will be Williams first French Open final since she won her only title in Paris in 2002, beating sister Venus in the final, and she will take a career-best 30-match winning streak with her.
“I told myself: ‘Serena, just concentrate’ and that’s what I did,” said Williams, who had been pushed to three sets and almost two hours by quarter-final opponent Svetlana Kuznetsova.
“Against Maria, I will have to prepare slightly differently. She’s a great player. But it’s magnificent to be back in the final after 11 years.”
Sharapova blew hot and cold against Azarenka who was bidding to become the first woman since Jennifer Capriati in 2001 to win the Australian and French Opens in the same year.
The 26-year-old Russian dropped her serve in the opening game with the first two of what would turn out to be a messy 11 double faults, but then produced her best tennis of the tournament so far to run off six games in a row.
Azarenka, playing in her first French Open semi-final at 23, steadied the ship at the start of the second set and then applied extra pressure on the Sharapova serve, reaping immediate dividends as the Russian lost her way.
But just when the momentum had switched sides, a brief rain shower sent the players back to the locker room for a 35-minute delay.
On the resumption, it was Sharapova who was back in command. She moved out into a 5-2 lead on the back of an array of big hits from the baseline, but then three more double faults and four missed match points had her wobbling again.
Two games later though she held firm to end Azarenka’s challenge and reach the eighth Grand Slam final of her career.
“I really had to play to the end today and I am extremely happy to be back in the final,” said Sharapova.
“(The rain delay) gave me a little bit of time to think of what I did well in the first set and try to get that back again for the third.”
Azarenka agreed that the rain delay had not helped her cause.
“I think the break kind of changed the momentum, for sure,” she said.
“When we got back out I kind of didn’t start the same way I was playing in the second set. I was just trying to make things happen too quick and started missing the ball.
“You know, it was a little bit unfortunate and inconsistent in that particular moment.”

Fatal Error: How 25-year-old died in ‘pure water’ company

Late Emmanuel
Nkwogba

If 25-year-old Emmanuel Nkwogba, who hails from Imo State, had known that going to work on the night of May 28, 2013 will cost him his life, he would have stayed at home with his family. But just as nobody knows the day or the hour of his death, he went to work and heeded the great call of all mortals.
On that fateful day,  Emma as he was fondly called, left his parents and siblings at home after watching a movie for his night shift work at the Zenith Pure water company along Yandoka road in Bauchi metropolis.
VM learnt that Emma had for years been a hard working staff of the pure water company and had been credited for managing business satisfactorily. It was said that through the job he was able to assist his  family financially and

otherwise. Sadly enough, the job which was a source of livelihood for him, turned out to be the cause of his death.

Tragedy struck when Emma tried to fix one of the automatic sealing machines in the company and in the process, a nut from the machine fell out. It was in an attempt by Emma to retrieve the nut under the machine that he got electrocuted when his body came in close contact with the machine.
Confirming the tragic incident to VM in his office, the Manager of Zenith Pure water in Bauchi, Mr. Nwankwo Eric, said: “My staff got electrocuted when he tried to bring out a nut that fell under the automatic sealing machine. It was absolute carelessness on his part because when the nut fell under the machine, he knelt down and pressed himself close to the cable wires where there was a circulation of electricity as he was trying to reach the nut”.
Continuing, Mr. Nwankwo said there was no need for Emma to try reaching the nut that fell from the sealing machine because two of his colleagues who were working with him on the night shift, could have assisted him to get the nut as they were very close to him.
The grieving boss  disclosed that he was out of town when the incident occurred, noting that he was devastated when he got the news of the demise of his best staff. Nwankwo described the late Emma as very hard-working who managed the affairs of the company with all seriousness.
“Emma is the most hardworking staff in my company. He never complains when he is told to carry out any duty and he manages the business like his own. I will miss him because we were very close and he is like a son to me,” he said.
One of the late Emma’s colleagues called Ifeanyi Kingsley who was working with him on that fateful day said:  “My colleague tried to repair the sealing machine because he was conversant with all the machines in the factory and normally fixes them whenever there was a fault.
“As he was fixing the machine, one of the nuts  fell off and he tried to reach it by putting his hands under the machine. As he knelt down trying to reach the nut under the machine, he had a close body contact with the machine and got electrocuted”.
He described his late colleague as a gentle and hardworking person who never had trouble with anybody and stressed he would be greatly missed by everyone.
When VM visited the bereaved family at Aminu Street, Bakinkura, a suburb of Bauchi metropolis, the entire family were yet to come to terms with the demise of Emma as everything still looked like a dream to them.
Mr.Oyeka Nkwogba, the father of thevictim and a tailor by profession told VM that: “It was around 11′ o clock in the night that some staff of the Zenith pure water came to my house, saying that they wanted to see me. By that time I was not in the house so they met with my wife who told them I was not at home.
“When my wife enquired from them what happened, they told her that my son had an accident and my attention was required at the Bauchi Teaching Hospital. So my wife contacted me and told me what happened. I came home immediately and we all rushed to the Teaching Hospital where they confirmed to us that my son was already dead and kept in the mortuary”.
Mr.Oyeka who described the death of his son as the will of God, said he would miss him, especially as the young man had so much to live for before his sudden death.

Okoku assured Nigeria that Keshi will qualify Eagles for World Cup

Ex-international, Paul Okoku has said that Coach Stephen Keshi was going to qualify the Super Eagles for the World Cup in Brazil.
Okoku made this assertion following Eagles 1-0 victory over the Harambee Stars of Kenya in Nairobi on Wednesday, a result that sees Nigeria extending their lead on Group F to eight points, two more than their closest rivals, Mamawi, with two matches to play in the penultimate round for the 2014 soccer showpiece.
Nigeria travel to Windhoek to play Namibia on June 12, where another on the road victory would see them guarantee their top place finish in the round before their final match at home against Malawi in September.
Reacting to the giant strides of the African champions, Okoku,  a 1984 Nations Cup silver medal winner, said that Keshi has overtime shown that he was the messiah that Nigerian football has been yearning for in a long time.
The Mexico 1983 Flying Eagles star, said that he was not surprised that Keshi has completely turned around the Eagles to a solid  and effective team capable of grinding out results in difficult terrains.
“I have known Keshi for a very long time. We both attended the same Primary School and he is like a brother to me and when I see the giant strides that he is achieving with the Super Eagles, I am not surprised because he has always been a go-getter, whose biggest strength is ability to manage men.
“Nigeria is lucky to have someone like Keshi as coach. He is surely going to qualify the Eagles for the World Cup. He is very close to achieving this target  and all he needs is our support. We all need to rally round him so that he can take our football to the next level”, Okoku added over the phone from USA.

Man discovers he’s a woman after 66 years

Imagine living your whole life as a man for 66 years only to discover that you were actually a woman all along?
This was exactly what happened to a 66-year-old who lived his whole life as a man until he was given a surprising diagnosis after visiting the doctor in Hong Kong with a swollen abdomen – he was a woman.
Doctors realised the patient was female after they found the swelling came from a large cyst on an ovary, according to a report in the Hong Kong Medical Journal.
The condition was the result of two rare genetic disorders.
The subject had Turner syndrome, which affects girls and women and results from a problem with the chromosomes, with characteristics including infertility and short stature.
But he also had congenital adrenal hyperplasia, increasing male
hormones and making the patient, who had a beard and a “micropenis”,
appear like a man.
“Were it not due to the huge ovarian cyst, his intriguing medical condition might never have been exposed,” seven doctors from two of the city’s hospitals wrote in the study.
The 1.37 metres tall patient, who grew up as an orphan, was found to
have no testes, a history of urinary leakage since childhood, and
stopped growing after puberty at the age of 10.
The doctors said there have been only six cases where both genetic disorders have been reported in medical literature. Turner Syndrome on its own affects only one in 2500 to 3000 females.
The Vietnam-born Chinese patient decided to continue “perceiving
himself as having a male gender with the possible need of testosterone
replacement”, according to the journal.
Most men have a X and a Y chromosome and most women have a pair of X
chromosomes. But people with Turner Syndrome tend to have only one X
chromosome or are missing part of their second X chromosome.

Kidnapped MD, son, released in Lagos

The Police in Lagos , confirmed the release of Managing Director of Smartpoly Products Ltd and Tokslordmart Ltd, Mr Martins Adams, who was abducted Sunday, alongside his seven year-old son.
Adams who was in the company of his wife and son, as gathered, were returning from an outing at about 5.30pm when they were nabbed by some gunmen. The gunmen reportedly followed the family into the building which also serves as the polythene manufacturing companies.
They were said to have tied the gatekeeper and Mrs. Tokunbo Adams  before whisking away Adams and his seven year-old son , Ireoluwa, to an unknown destination.
Vanguard reliably gathered that the abductors  had demanded for a ransom of over N20 million for the release of the MD and his son.
However ,  a source at the Lagos State Police Command Thursday,  disclosed that Adams  and his son were released Wednesday evening but could not state whether any ransom was paid.
It was also gathered that  the earlier denial of the kidnap by some members of staff of the polythene manufacturing companies followed stern warning from the abductors not to give any information to the Police and journalists.